The Hero’s Eternal Journey_2 The Refusal of the Adventure

Why Is the Call Refused?

In a previous piece, I explored the Call to Adventure—the first stage of the Hero’s Journey. Before diving into the lines below, I recommend revisiting that.

Now we arrive at the second stage… The Refusal of the Call.

But who would not want to become the hero of their own life? Why would someone refuse the call?

If our ego—meant to protect us—has not matured or evolved enough, we may reject the call. Although the challenges life presents are opportunities for the soul to mature and integrate, the call can still be denied. Why? Because it demands self-inquiry. And most of us are reluctant to allow anything that might disrupt the carefully constructed systems of control we’ve built. We don’t want our sense of order and clarity shaken.

In short, we reject the adventure through denial and the bargaining that often follows anger.

The ego can keep us away from the call by activating its defense mechanisms...

Carl Gustav Jung once said,“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”And also: “The most tragic thing in life is our inability to see that the problem lies within ourselves.”

These defense mechanisms can manifest in many ways: denial, projection, blaming others, applying pressure, waiting for a savior, or transferring responsibility.

Continuing through life as an emotionally undeveloped child, placing oneself at the center of the system—these are all ego defenses. A stunted ego gets stuck in the refusal stage of the journey. The person, therefore, avoids growth, evolution, and maturity by not taking responsibility or looking at their own darkness. They become increasingly exhausting to themselves and those around them—consuming, being consumed, and manipulating others (and even themselves) with ease.

Another defense mechanism of the human mind is devaluation. If something is not understood, it may be dismissed or belittled, which helps the ego stay at a distance.

But there is a cost to refusing the adventure:

• Persistent dissatisfaction and unease

• Anxiety

• Recurring life patterns

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Sometimes the ego’s defense is isolation—distancing from people and choosing loneliness, as I once did. But this is often not a chosen solitude; it is an escape from a shadow that cannot be accepted. True solitude, on the other hand, is a confrontation and an act of resistance—and it is necessary for growth.

An underdeveloped ego may also surrender to addictions, unable to make decisions due to being overwhelmed by its issues. It may seek someone else to make choices, because choosing means taking responsibility—and that is adulthood. Every decision is a form of letting go. Indecision is often a symptom of unresolved shadow work.

What Happens If We Refuse the Call?

If we don’t turn crises into opportunities by examining what they trigger in us, the intensity of the crisis may increase. The same themes will keep resurfacing through new people, events, or situations. The call to adventure invites us to look inward—but rejecting growth only breeds anxiety.

One cannot grow without taking risks. A ship that never leaves the harbor eventually rots. And the person? They begin to lose vitality—like a zombie.

So What Should We Do When We Receive the Call?

A wise consciousness looks at a crisis and first asks: “What is this here to teach me?” It wonders, “What part of me is trying to emerge?” Then, it simply observes the emotions.

G.I. Gurdjieff said, “The greatest sin in life is unconsciousness—that is, ignorance.”And that includes refusing to take responsibility. The system of life does not accept “not knowing”—it demands awareness. This is a personal responsibility.

As one grows in awareness, wisdom follows—so does self-knowledge, an intimate encounter with pain, and the acceptance of legitimate suffering.

We can rewrite our story only by stopping the running—from ourselves and from pain. This is the work of reinterpreting the past.

• And yes, we can seek support through this process—receive guidance, ask friends to mirror our blind spots, admit with vulnerability: “I can’t see myself right now.”

• We can begin by taking personal responsibility: reviewing each day, feeling our emotions.

• We can write, reflect, contemplate—and question ourselves with honesty.

• We can ask ourselves each day: “How am I today?”And with this awareness, we begin to develop our ego capacity. With effort, experience, and consistent practice, we start to discern our emotions—and gradually learn to manage them through conscious will.

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Through that will, we can open ourselves to the flow and allow the adventure to unfold. We can design lives of peace—where we become the heroes of our own stories.

Remember:That which we most long to discover is often hidden in the place we most fear to look.