Who’s the Boss, You or Me?

It’s curious, isn’t it? From childhood, we’re told by authority figures—starting with our families—to believe in ourselves. Then it carries over into the workplace, with our bosses echoing the same sentiment. But the moment we begin to trust ourselves, express our potential, and let our light shine, suddenly the tone changes.

“Hey, slow down. Who’s the boss here, you or me?”

At first, they project onto you all the qualities they admire. They praise you, boast about your accomplishments, and put you in the spotlight. They expect you to do what they couldn’t, to win the awards they didn’t, to speak the truths they feared to express. And then, seemingly out of nowhere...

“Wait a minute—aren’t you getting a little too confident? This is my game.”

What a contradiction. This dynamic seeps through personal relationships, family structures, and professional environments alike. In the workplace, for instance, they hire you for your talent, dazzled by your potential, only to later tell you that your light is "too bright."

What lies beneath this? Insecurity, perhaps. It seems so.

Those who lack trust in their own light often resist the brightness of others. A shining light reminds them of their own dimmed potential or brings to the surface the parts of themselves they’ve kept in the shadows. Light is hard to grasp, impossible to contain, and defies being owned. That’s exactly what makes it so brilliant—it’s untamed and uncontainable.

But here’s the paradox: these authority figures are also our teachers. They are the ones who help our light shine brighter, who guide us to recognize our strength. In their pushback, they reveal where we should shine and remind us that the light isn’t us—it’s something we channel. They challenge us, strip away our illusions, and refine us until we’re ready to shine with clarity and authenticity.

What if, instead of seeing these authority figures as external forces, we looked inward for them? Just like emotions, perhaps these figures only want to be seen, heard, and understood. Maybe they don’t know how to ignite their own light. Maybe they’re afraid of shining, which is why they try to silence, suppress, or block us.

Perhaps these figures—the resentful, wounded ones who seek validation in the external world—are simply unacknowledged parts of ourselves. Maybe they’ve appeared in our reality to be forgiven, understood, and loved. Perhaps all they seek is approval and acceptance.

Looking back, I realize that my greatest struggles and challenges in life have been with authority figures. It wasn’t about them, though—it was about the tyrant within me that I couldn’t embrace. I was afraid of its power, intimidated by its dominance. Can someone be afraid of themselves? Can you fear your own strength? Apparently, yes. The more I suppressed this side of me, the more I encountered external challenges with controlling, domineering figures. They ignored me, dismissed me, silenced me with raised voices. But now, I see that all these experiences were nudging me to claim my power, to make a choice.

Those tyrants were my shadow sides—the parts of me I couldn’t accept or forgive. Now, I choose to bring them along on my journey. I work to heal those parts with love and use that power for the greater good. I strive to channel my light, not to possess it, but to share it.

I hope that as I walk this path of acceptance and surrender, my inner strength accompanies me. I hope it learns humility, embraces its limits, and transforms into something softer yet resilient. And I hope this allows me to forgive myself, to deeply realize that this light and power are not mine to keep—they merely pass through me.

The road is long, but thankfully, it’s open.